It may be a little late to start now and it is still worth the effort sharing my experience and writing it down like a diary. I am turning 15 weeks tomorrow and i have been keep rather quiet about this pregnancy. This is my 3rd pregnancy and same goes for my second pregnancy, it has never been easy.
Been living in fear and lots of phobia. My problem began when i was about 5 weeks pregnant. I found out i was pregnant at 4 weeks. I had a little spotting so after taking some duphaston and a progestrone jab, it sort of stop the bleeding. I had a trip planned to go to hong kong in late october to early november, just 2 nights. I was worried and thinking if i should cancel the trip, to disappoint my friends. But my gynae said i was fit to travel. I went on with it as i cant really break the news to my other 2 friends as i am not 3 months yet ( based on chinese tradition) and i have become more supertitious after my 2nd child. Especially i also had a planned trip to London and Paris in late Nov. So, i wanted to save my health, in a while for that big trip of 2 weeks with 2 young children.
The trip to Hong Kong went on well, i didnt shop alot cos i wasnt at my top form and i had my fears. what if i have sudden bleeding? how am i able to fly back? i had travel insurance but its really scary when at the back of your head you are thinking if something might go wrong. I was very careful and there was a day my friends set off early and i joined them at lunch. Fortunately, everything was ok.
When i return, i thought maybe this pregnancy is probably better than my 2nd's. So i continue to go to parkway the day after i return. That same morning , i also brought meimei to attend her shicida class. We went get some winter clothes for the kids ( while buying i was thinking, can i still go for the europe trip, will everything be ok?) , we went on to pay for the items. i carried meimei for merely 10 secs cos she wanted me to carry which i really shouldnt byt i dont really believe that pregnant woman cant carry her kids and my gynae also doesnt believe in such things (perhaps thats the beginning of my problem) We decided to have saskae sushi and there was a queue so i start queing, when it was half way my turn, i felt a light flow. i checked i was bleeding.
i quickly tld my husband i have to go home. i took a quick shower and started lying in bed. Then, i felt heavy flow and my pants were in blood. My husband panicked and call an ambulance, i went to the hospital and stayed for a night. i must say i wasnt as afraid as i was during my 2nd baby, cos i had the experience but i was damn sianzzzzzzzzzz, i am back to the same point. urgh.
From then onwards, i was almost a hamster in the cage. In the beginning i could still walk a little, normal pace. Then, i reach a point when i was totally bedrest unless going to the toilet. I eat on my bed and i just lie in bed. Initially, i almost went crazy a couple of times. It felt like living hell and im wasting my life. Until a point, i realised i could just stay in a room without leaving the door. Whenever i feel unhappy, i imagine people being kidnapped , locked in jail. I am better off than them . That is how i have been consoling myself, to lie through the weeks.
Everytime when i hope im getting better, i will bleed again and again. I dont have a dateline to the end of this bloody story, no one can answer me. I just have to wait and hopfully it can be like my previous pregnancy which i eventually became better. Up to this point, i havent been annouce fit to walk, to have the freedom to mix into ppl. I had to cancel my europe trip, i am stuck at home, i totally missed xmas, new year, to organize a birthday party for my kids. I still hope i can make it for chinese new year.
I really hope after all the sufferings and mental torture, i could stablise soon and get a life. The reason why i decided to share this is because i realised when i tried to find someone like me, i cant find anyone to share esp in singapore. I hope, by me blogging about this and if there is anyone out there who is going through the same. Dont you fret, youre not alone cos i am like you.
life goes on and i hope the little new life in me will be strong and able to meet the world at the end of the 40 weeks.
cheers.
