Yesterday was one of the most terrible day out of the whole half a year ago... still unable to understand why or explain. out of the whole matter, which should not exist at all was mostly my fault.
earlier part of the day was fine.. went to school, hang out for makan and ktv with schoolmates, rush for driving lesson and home.
then i start my nonsense, thats what i call it.

was thinking, how am i going to see/face him? i wont dare to, perharps knowing it was my fault to throw tantrums?

am i too young for him so that ive disappoint him when i became unmature for that moment?
havent started working except part-timing. When i was doing my assignment for Organisational Behaviour on interviews... my perception and the interviewer's perception.. went to the library to search for references....
Then i realised i havent been to ONE serious work interview... No experience and not knowing what i should look at and how am i able to produce my "OWN" "REAL" perception? Sometimes i really feel so SMALL but at the same time ive experienced things not everyone can.
Some people would say or might think that im lucky. At my age, still not working "FULL TIME" need not have to go through 9-6 office hours etc and etc...

Am i really lucky based on that?
I guess i am the only one who knows the answer....

Ans: that will depends on how i look at it, i do have my problems

Some people would say, by going to the army, started working makes a person more mature more understanding to the surrounding, able to judge between right and wrong etc n etc

what about me? i should say STILL unmature to a certain extend.
actually, who in this world, can be the most mature person, i would say not by judging a person's age. Cos not everyone progress with age, some people just stop at a certain level. Sometimes i would think my mom has that problem.

I feel that ive been feeling tempermental recently, esp towards my mother.. she can just get me on my nerves. She just an extrodinary mom, that divides into 2 categories.. she takes care of me well by feeding my sis and i when we are still kids. Giving a sufficent basic education to us, but not entirely to me la, cos i havent been doing very well acadmically since very young. Next category is " expectations" she can simply expect the wrong things at the wrong time. She can make my life real miserable and affected if she wants.. im quite sure that she knows that pretty much. Also her way of doing so might be similar to what ive done to him last night.. but shes a mom.

Everything is just parts and parcel of life. Everytime when things occur, i would say a few things to myself.

problems will never stop coming, is it worth for thinking about it now and for a long long time?, i just have to accept some facts.
"life is tough" common statment for everyone and same goes for me too.

there are still beautiful things in this world and im positive about it. Life still goes on and on..
just EMO la, since yesterday till now..
I WILL BE BETTER AFTER GETTING MY BUTT OUT OF MY HOUSE N BE BUSY WITH...

like Nike's ad " And always look on the bright side of life"woo hoo woo hoo woo hooo woo hoo